Sex Tips

Let’s talk FINGERING.

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We find that fingering splits people 50/50 (not literally). We either LOVE it or we HATE it. I believe that everyone can love it, if they find the best way for them.

The idea and act of fingering is subject to a lot of jokes, which has led to many adults not taking it seriously as a sexual act – when in fact, using your fingers can be one of the most mind-blowing ways to pleasure yourself. Never knock a sexual act until you’ve tried it, because you just never know. 

The common issues that men have with fingering is discomfort that is caused by fingernails, rough skin and BAD TECHNIQUE. Fingering is a versatile sexual act; it’s solo, its for couples, its for groups, it’s for use WITH toys and it’s also a really fantastic way to prepare your butt for anal sex and to wake up your prostate prior to sex.

I’ve compiled some tips to help you explore and ENJOY using fingers for fun:

  1. Find a lube you really like. A hybrid or water based lubricant (like Gun Oil LOADED) is ideal for anal play as its consistency is usually thicker and this helps you glide through with less pressure on the internal walls of your butt. It’s fine to rub against these – but if they are irritated early, the chances are it’ll ruin the whole experience for you.
  2. Trim and file your finger nails. I cannot emphasise this enough! If you are one of those people who enjoys having long nails – wear a rubber glove. We provide them. You might feel a bit awkward wearing gloves, but this will help you avoid discomfort and hurting yourself.
  3. JUST THE TIP! At first, just use the tip of a single finger with plenty of lube on both your finger and your hole. Use up to the first bend in your finger and take it slowly. This finger, alongside the lube will help ‘wake up’ your hole and prepare you for the more intense sensations that come with going deeper and using more-than-one. If you struggle to ‘accept’ the finger, take deep breaths and gently ‘push out’ like you’re going to the bathroom (you get what I mean). This helps your sphincter open and accept “internal traffic“.
  4. Dual stimulation is always great. Anal fingering works really well when partnered with another act. Try gently stimulating your nipples (or getting a partner to lick them / gently rub them wet) whilst inserting your fingers. Masturbating works really well with fingering but be careful that you don’t jar your arm and force your finger in a direction you weren’t ready for. That ain’t fun.

    DUAL

    Dual play

  5. Deeper and Deeper. (And no, we don’t mean the Madonna song. Though you can always play this to make sure your house mates don’t hear your moans of pleasure). Slowly push your finger in deeper till you reach the base of the finger at the knuckle.
  6. Explore your P-Spot. The P-Spot is a cute nickname for your Prostate. The P-Spot can be found on the internal wall of your body, if you reach your finger around in a curved ‘C’ shape, around 4 inches inside your butt. You want to push towards the front of your body, not the back. You know you’ve hit the Prostate when you feel a subtle ‘burning’ sensation that’s comparable with needing to go for a wee.
  7. The second finger. If you are feeling brave enough and want ‘more’, slowly insert your second finger. I recommend trying this with the first finger inside already. This always is a bit of a shock to the system but is PERFECT for preparation for anal sex. Add more if you want more. Just take it slow. And remember that any more than 3 fingers is bordering on fisting territory – and that’s a WHOLE different blog.
  8. Rimming. If you’re with a partner, get them to rim you. The gentle massaging of the tongue, alongside the spit will help your anus relax and awaken the pleasure spots for your fingers. Not only is rimming fun on its own but it softens your anal ‘ring’ that helps your fingers slide in and out.

    Put him to work. c/so This-Bi-Guy

    Put him to work. c/o This-Bi-Guy

  9. Dial 69. Another idea if you’re with a partner is to get him (or her) to finger you whilst you are both in the 69 position (you on top). This way, you get to play with him whilst the action happens which is fun for you AND also, distracts you in moments that it gets a little stingy. Plus – any excuse, eh?
  10. Change positions. Fingering can feel completely different, depending on what position you are in. So try a few! We recommend beginning on your back or your side. When you’re more confident with the sensations, try different positions. Fingering usually feels best whilst your lower back is kept straight.
  11. Motion. Explore the internal walls of your butt with circular motions, this always feel’s really interesting (plus you get to know how you feel on the inside). Try this as well as ‘in and out’ – then mix the two. This is when things start to get really fun. Massaging your P-Spot with the circular motion is particularly mind-blowing when you partner it with masturbation.
  12. The ORGASM. A famous old trick in the book, is “pulling out” whilst having an orgasm. Pulling out when you cum makes your orgasm explosive. This is NOT for beginners but does feel fantastic. When you are getting so close that you cant hold it anymore and have plenty of lube inside, pull out your fingers. You don’t have to do it at rapid speed, but you’ll find the faster the better.

    Fingering fun. c/o FagSmut

    Fingering fun. c/o FagSmut

Recommended lubes for fingering:

  • Liquid Silk is a thick, water-based lube with a creamy consistency. It also has a tendency to make you ‘tingle’ inside.
  • Gun Oil LOADED is a thick, hybrid lube that mixes water, silicone and cream-based lubricants to LOAD you with goodness
  • SPUNK Lube looks and feels like Spunk. It’s water and silicone hybrid that’s thick, creamy and lasts during playtime.
  • Boy Butter (Do NOT use this if you’re going to be using a condom afterwards, as this will break down the latex)
  • ID Glide is recommended if you want a more watery consistency when playing.
  • ID Backslide is a silicone based lube was made for anal playtime.

For more play techniques, keep an eye on the Clonezone blog. If you have any questions about fingering, email me at [email protected] or call our freephone line on 0800 783 0953.

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